We’re good on emo bullshit, Tumblr.

Anonymous asked: were you abused by your dad?

Yep.

Anonymous asked: have you found someone you like in LA?

Sometimes I think so. I wish things were easier to figure out.

Anonymous asked: Did you want to marry, bang, or kill Madeline Kahn's character in 'Young Frankenstein'?

Bang and marry. Madeline Kahn is one my all-time super crushes.

Anonymous asked: Ain't we got fun?

I’m not into “fun.” Please stop.

Anonymous asked: Do you miss the cold, white north?

No. 

Anonymous asked: Why do you think comedy and situations are so complex? Your brilliant but sometimes it's just luck.

Oh sure, an easy question. 

Comedy is complex because it’s not just one thing, it’s connective tissue you find holding together large parts of your psyche and people in general. It works way less often that it fails, but the fact it works when it does is a miracle. 

Luck helps. You can write the best joke in the world but if nobody hears it you may as well have written a recipe for food nobody wants, like gluten free pancakes. 

Luck and comedy have something in common: they can be a series of chain reactions. When we say comedians have good timing it means they know when jokes are working and how to sustain the laughs they’re getting. It takes intuition and practice to know this. Luck is the same thing. If one thing lucky happens and it puts you near other good things that can happen, your ability to use that “luck” to get to the next thing is actually good skill. 

I always say this, though (and I always like to give advice, even if nobody asks): you can only manage your corner of the world. If someone seems luckier than you it can cause a lot of resentment and frustration, which are two things that sap your ability to be creative and funny.

So you have to learn that luck happens sporadically and spontaneously, but if you have good material when luck happens to you there’s a better chance of getting to the next big thing. 

jakisbrain asked: What makes you giggle and what does your giggle sound like?

So many things make me giggle, but I always laugh the hardest at things my friends say or at really good live comedy shows. And my laugh is terribly obnoxious in all its manifestations.

Anonymous asked: ggg

I hope you’re independently wealthy if that’s your attitude.

Anonymous asked: How many times have you had sex with yourself? And would you have sex with William Shatner, allowing him to take a huge dump on your chest?

Like, a lot. And no. Go away.